YOU AND I, WE WERE BORN TO DIE

Gawd. I can't stop listening (and watching the MV) to this song since yesterday. I first heard of Lana del Rey's Video Games in December I think, and I immediately liked her but when I found this song my liking for her has immediately turned into an obsession. The lyrics and the melody are beyond perfection! And don't even get me started with the video. I think I'll just stop watching this when it reach 15million views (that's just barely 250k more views!) Haha!

On a totally different note, here's an update about me. I've been absent from work for 2 days now. I'm actually a little sick (physically) but that's not the real reason for my absence because I can actually go to work even if I'm sick IF I really want to. The problem is I just don't have the motivation to go to work anymore. I'm actually really torn between leaving and enduring all the crap for a little bit longer. The work itself is pretty easy but what I'm really having problems with is the management. It's just so frustrating (at least for me) to work for people who (I feel and observe) doesn't really care about their employees. People who ask for things yet doesn't know how to give back. People who says one thing and does the other. People without integrity.

I already had 2 major breakdowns on the production floor and I don't think I am willing to risk staying for a third one. The reasons for my meltdowns are just actually petty things. One is because I am just really hard on myself and I easily get frustrated when I can't do something properly when I very well know I can do so much better. You can say that I'm a perfectionist. I hate falling below people's expectations most especially mine's.

The other issue that I'm having is this feeling that I am being taken advantage of. I get really upset when I know that I am doing the best that I can but I don't get rewarded accordingly. But who doesn't, right? I'm not really asking for something grand but at least something that I deserve and will well compensate the efforts that I give in the company. I really believe in the principle of give and take and karma, so I really turn into a bitch if things get out of line with these principles.

I really want to quit already but I don't know where to go next once I do. I'm still confused. I know that I'm the only one who can tell what's the right thing to do but I know there's no turning back once I decide. I don't want to regret anything and keep making the wrong decisions.What do you think? Should I compromise or should I quit?

Feet don't fail me now

Take me to the finish line

All my heart, it breaks every step that I take

But I'm hoping that the gates,

They'll tell me that you're mine

Walking through the city streets

Is it by mistake or design?

I RISE WITH THE GAYEST OF SUNBEAMS

Fretzie Bercede

Raspberry Jam

Jayesslee

Thai actress Baifern Pimchanok from the movie Crazy Little Thing Called Love

and my ultimate girl crush...Angelababy!!!

I've been so stressed these past months that it seems like all hell has decided to break out of my face. I feel like I'm a walking zit-shit-stick It rhymes, yah? I don't know where the hell I got that. It just sprung out of nowhere like the tiny pork in a can of pork and beans. Get it? Nah? All right. Never mind. All right back to the topic. I don't want to start thinking that I look ugly or anything now. I've always thought that it's nice to have imperfections because it makes one unique from everyone else. Your flaws might be an asset for another person. But as old people say, for every rule there's always and ALWAYS an exception. That exception for me is having major breakouts. One or two minor breakout is just fine or even three is still okay. People will just tease you that you're just thinking too much of your crush/boyfriend/fling and that's kind of cute. But when you start to feel like people are looking at your zits- instead of into your eyes- and they seem to be forming constellations out of them in their minds whenever you are talking to them that's when you know you are having major breakouts and that's not cute at all. I'm not really all about beauty and vanity but...but...but why can't I seem to think of any words to put here? Alright, alright, I'll admit it. I am vain (cries pathetically in the corner).

And in desperate times like this when I know that it's already beyond my control, there's only one thing that seem to keep me distracted and discouraged from rushing all hell out of my face by putting every crap I can think of  and lay my hands on in it- and that's staring at beautiful faces. The girls above are some of my all-time girl crushes. Am I weird or what? I know I'm weird so you don't have to answer that. ;)

I would also want to share a very inspiring and funny video but I can't remember the keywords to look it up in youtube. Oh well, maybe next time. Have a good one everyone! :)

WALKING ON SUNSHINE AND ICE

WALKING ON ICE. I've been so stressed and frustrated at work this week that I am starting to think of actually quitting the job. As I have said before, I am really not a quitter but I am a runner. I am very fond of running away whenever I am faced with adversities. My mind is telling me to quit but I don't know where else would I go if I decide to do so. I don't want to keep on making wrong decisions in my life and most especially I don't want to go back to that black hole shit that is D anymore.

WALKING ON SUNSHINE. After crying my heart out the other day, I decided to stand up and just continue with my life no matter how shitty it may be. I tried to psyche myself out by thinking that rain doesn't come everyday. So, I went to work yesterday with a smile painted on my face and kept my fingers crossed in hope for even just a little bit of sunshine. Funny enough, everything went well! I'm pretty sure it got everything to do with my mania because I haven't slept for 2 days now and I don't feel tired or sleepy at all. I even feel like I can do anything! Haha! I am scared but I am happy. Who cares if I'm just being manic? Do you? You don't, I know. This too shall pass so I might as well enjoy it while it last, right?

Be CALM. Have FUN. :)