Gawd. I can't stop listening (and watching the MV) to this song since yesterday. I first heard of Lana del Rey's Video Games in December I think, and I immediately liked her but when I found this song my liking for her has immediately turned into an obsession. The lyrics and the melody are beyond perfection! And don't even get me started with the video. I think I'll just stop watching this when it reach 15million views (that's just barely 250k more views!) Haha!
On a totally different note, here's an update about me. I've been absent from work for 2 days now. I'm actually a little sick (physically) but that's not the real reason for my absence because I can actually go to work even if I'm sick IF I really want to. The problem is I just don't have the motivation to go to work anymore. I'm actually really torn between leaving and enduring all the crap for a little bit longer. The work itself is pretty easy but what I'm really having problems with is the management. It's just so frustrating (at least for me) to work for people who (I feel and observe) doesn't really care about their employees. People who ask for things yet doesn't know how to give back. People who says one thing and does the other. People without integrity.
I already had 2 major breakdowns on the production floor and I don't think I am willing to risk staying for a third one. The reasons for my meltdowns are just actually petty things. One is because I am just really hard on myself and I easily get frustrated when I can't do something properly when I very well know I can do so much better. You can say that I'm a perfectionist. I hate falling below people's expectations most especially mine's.
The other issue that I'm having is this feeling that I am being taken advantage of. I get really upset when I know that I am doing the best that I can but I don't get rewarded accordingly. But who doesn't, right? I'm not really asking for something grand but at least something that I deserve and will well compensate the efforts that I give in the company. I really believe in the principle of give and take and karma, so I really turn into a bitch if things get out of line with these principles.
I really want to quit already but I don't know where to go next once I do. I'm still confused. I know that I'm the only one who can tell what's the right thing to do but I know there's no turning back once I decide. I don't want to regret anything and keep making the wrong decisions.What do you think? Should I compromise or should I quit?
Feet don't fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I'm hoping that the gates,
They'll tell me that you're mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
