THE QUEST FOR EL DORADO

As the rain and the wind gush against the roof, I stared at my family's sleeping faces. They were so serene. I Iong for that peace too. I was holding the vial with both hands. I was very much ready to take down its content to finally put myself to sleep.  I would be finally free. The end is in my hands. In that final moment, I made a (stupid) move and shared my final thoughts to you.

I was scared. I felt like I was hanging on a cliff and desperately crying for help. I was so happy that you came. Finally, someone came! Somebody still care.  Much to my dismay, all you did was just give me a rope and then left me alone again. I felt so angry and sad. I didn't know what to feel. I felt angry at first because of the fact that you didn't even took the liberty to pull me right back in. I was also sad because I didn't feel like you really cared at all. I was right; nobody cares. 

I was wondering, why?  Why does no one ever take me seriously? Do I need to jump off a cliff and die, for you to realize that I am not fooling around? I am sick. And this is no joke. How I wish it's just a joke. But it isn't. It's all real. 

I cut your rope and let myself fall deeper into the abyss. There, I was not alone. I was scared but I've chosen to face it. There lies my old enemy and once again I must fight it. I've chosen to seek help. And so my quest for El Dorado starts.